BP To Get Rid of Oil Spill by Investing It In Greek Economy

BP announced today yet another plan to abate the oil spill off the gulf coast, this time by channeling the oil into the Greek Economy and thereby assuring its complete disappearance.  ”We’ve already started laying the groundwork, ” said a spokesperson Friday morning.  ”Basically, we’ll be attaching a hose to the leaking pipe at the ocean floor.  From there, the hose will run thousands of kilometers until it reaches its destination, the Bank of Greece, where the oil will be pumped directly into the national reserve.  After that, it’s only a matter of time until the oil is tied “soaked up” in debt obligations and “washed away” as the country reaches full insolvency.  We’re thinking the total time for “oil insolvency” should be about nine months.”

This graph demonstrates the slow decline in the oil spill problem, as well as the Greek's hopes and dreams.

Continuing  to defer criticism, the spokesperson added, “We understand many people are concerned about the four-million gallons of crude oil which have already leaked into the gulf.  That’s why we’re also initiating a plan to begin filtering this remaining oil using a combination of cheap and highly absorbent Euros along with many thousands of gallons of hopes and dreams of Greek children, which are facing a real surplus and can be purchased for a tenth of what we were spending on other remedies.”

“As for BP’s investors who are concerned about our financial outlook, fear not.  We have plans to patent and control worldwide use of this new European-hope filtering agent under the name Atropate – a name given in honor of the Greek goddess of inevitability – and see a bright future ahead for BP’s new line of insolvency based detergents.”

Related posts:

1. BP To Collect Oil In Big Container
2. BP Assures Congress They “Will Laugh About Oil Spill One Day”
3. Coast Guard Gets .04Miles/Gallon Burning Oil Slick