Buzz Aldrin Misses Chance to Be First Man to Walk On Obama

Famed latecomer Buzz Aldrin missed his chance today to be the first man to walk all over Obama’s cutbacks for the NASA space program when Neil Armstrong once again beat him to the punch by writing a letter of critique to the President. An insider told reporters that Mr. Aldrin missed the opportunity while he was trying to remember how to get his computer to spell check.

In a follow-up interview, Mr. Aldrin was reported to say, “Oh sure, Neil, it’s super easy to just draft a letter to the president and send it off, but it’s a professional who follows through, does his checking, follows procedure. And for that matter have you any idea how many steps one has to go through to prepare for a lunar landing? I’m sorry if I have to go back to this but we can’t all just rush out of the goddam space door. Oooh, firsties! What, are you nine, Neil? Maybe some people have a little pride in their work. Maybe some people don’t just deliver a goddam letter, too. Maybe some of us don’t want to find phrases like “me rike spase, no close pergram” in a letter that’s intended for the goddam Commander in Cheif. Oh, and while we’re on the subject of who get’s to go first with things: Armstrong, I checked, scissors do not be goddam rock, you ass. Not even space scissors. I’m coming for your balls, Neil. You’ll rue the goddam day.”