Students all over California got dumber Thursday as they skipped class to protest the recent fee hikes. Said one student from UC Berkeley, “You know, it’s not like we’re fighting a war here over money or stuff. But it’s like, you know, wrong to charge for a service. When Jefferson wrote the Bill of Rights, he didn’t intend for the youth to get any more poor. He wanted us to get less poorer.”
Further south in Bakersfield, Mrs MacBannan, a fourth-grade elementary teacher, lamented the lost class time. ”It’s pretty sad actually. I totally support the cause, don’t get me wrong, but today we were going to talk about fractions. Tomorrow was supposed to be about how we can use fractions when we’re adding but, really, I’m not sure I know how to go on. They’ll just be so behind. Really, I think we’re going to have to skip math altogether this year and focus on Egyptology.” Billy, her top student, and the winner of last year’s King Tut fair, smiled when she said this, and looked as though he were eager to comment, when the reflection off a passing Chevy caught his attention and he ran off, chasing it an impressive three blocks before slowing down to pee on the Sycamore tree he’s lauded as a cornerstone of his school-ground territory.
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