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Essays & Stories

“Too Many Porn-Stars” TNB

April 28, 2010
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I’ve always felt it was too easy for a person to be labeled a “porn-star.”

“It’s Like An Essay, But An Essay “On Crack!”" – TNB

April 10, 2010
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What does it mean when you use the analogy that “It’s like (something), but like (something) on crack!”?

The Death of an Old Friend/Pumpkin

April 8, 2010
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My pumpkin is dying.  We adopted this pumpkin last October, he and six of his brothers and sisters.  The others didn’t make it, due largely to the fact that they were sliced open and left out in the rain.  But this one just sat, uncut, for the last seven months.  I get that honoring a [...]

Corporatese – The Language of Your Company

March 24, 2010
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Every time we have a meeting in my company I hear about a dozen terms that I only ever hear in a company context.  The general themes of these words are efficiency and growth.  My friend, Mary, at NoTitles.com and I thought we would each take a look at corporate language, a little competition really: [...]

How To Fix American “Obesity”

March 23, 2010
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America is fat, sorry, obese, and we’re mad as hell about it.  I’ve figured out how to fix this.  The answer to ridding America of obesity?  Change the language.  We all know the age-old chubby girl trick of calling a fat girl pleasantly plump and telling your overweight husband that there is more of him [...]

Alternatives to “Hand/Eye Coordination”

March 15, 2010
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Of all types of coordination, Hand/Eye is the most celebrated…and then one thinks, “wait, of  all types of coordination? What other types are there?”  Of course seeing something and then reacting appropriately with your hands is a terribly important skill and, frankly, probably paramount in a great many deeds.  But what about other sense/body-skills?  We [...]

Defining “Douchebags”: Part III – Finding a Cure

March 4, 2010
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In Parts I and II, we discussed how Douchebags are idiots with flare, the pretentious ignorant.  They are the guy in sunglasses, the goatee, the striped shirt, the baseball cap just a touch off center.  They are the big-dick swingers, touting their rock-titted Douchebaguettes.  We all get it.  We all know these guys.  Heck, you [...]

Defining “Douchebags”: Part II – Physical Characteristics

March 3, 2010
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Douchebags are idiots with flare, but what does that look like?   In Part II of “Defining Douchebags,” we’ll take a look at some common physical attributes. You can’t judge a Douchebag by its collard shirt; even some of the fellas in these pictures might not be Douchebags.  Just because it dresses like a douche [...]

Defining “Douchebags”: Part I – Definition and Night Out

March 2, 2010
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It’s Friday night and you’re out on the town.  ”Man, this place would be really good if it weren’t for all these Douchebags.”  What is a Douchebag?  Really, who is a Douchebag?  What do they look like?  And, most importantly, can they be cured?   I’ll be exploring this topic in three parts:

“The Pursuit of “What is Happiness?”" – TNB

February 25, 2010
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Before we discuss if we have a “right to be happy” or “how can we be happy,” we must first decide what we mean by ‘happiness.’

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