Modern Writing

Where Are the Hippies?

January 4, 2012

Shouldn’t there be a bowl of hippies huddled around this monstrosity, raising their fists high up in the air, cursing at the heavens? Shouldn’t some poor, liberal asshole be trying to save this tree from its union with man and steel? Also, isn’t nature truly amazing that it can just adopt a steel pole?

More Than Shitty Phishing

October 24, 2011

My site has been abused. I fixed it; don’t worry. If you’ve come here expecting your Chase account, sorry. Also, feel free to leave me your banking info. I’m not asking for it, but I wont turn it away either. Meanwhile, genuinely sorry for anyone else who’s life was inconvenienced by this as mine was [...]

I Have A Tumblr

October 14, 2011

I have a Tumblr now. Three, in fact, but I’m only really doing anything about one. It’s called SFering. It’s just a collection of things I see and my impressions of San Francisco as I go about. I’m one of SF, an SFer, and since I see it as an ongoing state of [...]

San Francisco Mystery Wine

August 4, 2011

After working all night I returned around seven am to find my motorcycle had some company. This is a great example of why I love this town. Even the expensive and upcoming neighborhoods have a host of zombie, story-maker types who are up to no good at all hours. So what’s the story here? Did [...]

Chapter 2011 – Notes on the US Default

July 30, 2011

So we’re broke, or nearly there. Here’s a few brief thoughts: If congress get’s paid and the troops do not, we should ask for a majority vote of the armed services and send Congress to the front lines. Remember, that the debt ceiling has nothing to do with spending any more or any less money. [...]

British Elitism

June 20, 2011

In England, this would be a horrific bit of social elitism repressing the lesser educated. In America, this is only elitist in virtue of some asshole (the author), wryly mentioning that he knows a thing or two about British culture. Snickering twat, I am.

Fireman Sexy

June 14, 2011

Nevermind that their house had just burnt down. What the girls and, frankly, I wanted to know was what this sweet piece of medium-rare was doing after the fire. So yeah, all this, totally for real. My friend’s house burnt down a month or so ago. And while they are all standing there in whatever [...]

Shelf Joke Needed

June 1, 2011

I went on a tour of an office and this room caught me off guard. There’s a joke here, a perfect, simple joke. You can feel it too, right? I can’t goddam figure it out. I mean camon’, look at all of those empty shelves. A room full of them, all crowded around an important [...]

Missing Myspace

May 4, 2011

In San Francisco, from 04-07′, you could Myspace the shit out of someone. You could barely know them and it was sort of fine to just chat them up. And none of this “we have to be friends” bullshit. I think that’s what I miss most about Myspace. Everyone, for the most part, just kind [...]

Jesus Died For Your…

April 23, 2011

Jesus died for your sins, sure, but is that it? And how about specifics? Because I totally get him dieing for half of what I did during my single years of 2003-2004 but, 2010? Maybe I was a bit loose with my taxes that year, maybe, but nothing die worthy. And in this modern day [...]

Washing Your Hands in the Men’s Room

April 18, 2011

I’ve done no formal research on this but I am pretty sure that men only wash their hands in the bathroom like 20% of the time. And I would say that most hand washing is a kind of reaction to peer pressure. Some guys are all-the-time hand washers and, once they step up, every guy [...]

Ronald McDonald: Pedophile

March 17, 2011

All I’m saying is, if this wasn’t some cutesy little statue thing for folks to pose with…I mean, if this were a real fellow, dressed up as a clown, and so comfortable and familiar with his settings that he’s just leaning on back into a bench at McDonalds, wouldn’t you call the cops? Grown man. [...]

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