The Comedies

Double Rainbow, Double Bird: All The Way

November 16, 2010

Forget that I just got married. What you should be focused on was the goddam miracle of mother nature which occured on the honeymoon in Cancun. I captured it, and it’s about to go viral (seriously though, I know people of the Tube, and this in a confirmed viral load). Unlike the original “double-rainbow,” mine [...]

Cat Nap

October 22, 2010

Yoga is for dickheads. And I don’t even try to stretch before or after a workout anymore. Still, I’ve managed to stay limber and sprightly nearly all my life. The key is taking a solid cat nap each and every day. There’s something about contorting my torso in half while pointing my limbs in uncompromising directions that I [...]

Black and White Makes A Photo Classy

October 5, 2010

There’s nothing classy about color. That’s why I’ve switched to taking only black and white photos. I like how striking they are, how direct and bold the contrast is. There’s a somber quality about them too that implies a sort of immediate nostalgia, a quality of history, an authenticity if you like. Color is too [...]

Five Other Things Prince Has Declared: “Completely Over”

July 6, 2010

In a recent interview with the Mirror, Prince declared that the “…internet’s completely over.” He compared it to the weaning popularity of MTV and added that it was a good thing since the internet just “fills your head with numbers.” Later, behind the scenes, one of his hundreds of (as he likes to call them) [...]

Meat Market

June 29, 2010

“I get a call on my way to the audition from the agent. He said, ‘What is really important is that you are fuckable.’” – Adrienne Shelley (young actress) The market showed signs of slowing as news came to light today of a string of weddings. Megan Fox (MFOX) and Carrie Prejean (MSCA) lead the [...]

Which Ghostbuster Are You?

June 18, 2010

People love analyzing the Ghostbusters, in part, because they represent many of the myriad sub-classes of nerds. Asking yourself which Ghostbuster you are like is really asking, “What kind of nerd am I?” Because you’re reading this, chances are, you’re one of these five class of nerd in some respect or another. Let’s look at the different [...]

Hipster V. Shark

June 15, 2010

Since time immemorial, scholars have debated, Hipster or shark? With any reckoning, the real question is where the two would meet. The ocean or the city? Hipsters can’t swim and sharks abhor irony. Neither will do. Perhaps their fabled battleground would have to be at the beach, where both are at significant disadvantage. On the beach, Hipsters, [...]

Afghanistan Discovers Lithium, Entire Middle-East Stabilizes

June 14, 2010

Reports have been coming in that, since the discovery of massive lithium deposits in the more troubled regions of Afghanistan, the entire Middle-East seems to have stabilized. Said one veteran war reporter, “I can’t really describe it. First, nothing happened. Everyone was still fighting. Everywhere, people were still shouting and yelling and burning things. Then, [...]

Five Tips for Getting Out of Bed

May 18, 2010

It’s almost three in the afternoon and you still haven’t moved. Getting yourself motivated and out of bed can really be difficult some days. Ranging from physical illness to mental disability or old fashion hangovers, there are plenty of excuses for why it’s so difficult. Here’s some helpful advice for ways to get yourself up [...]

Hot Guys Writing Code

May 13, 2010

A friend of mine sent me a link to a review of a new blog that features “Hot Guys Reading Books.” The idea being that some women are really turned on by images of casual guys doing some casual reading. But why should book-worms get all the love? I can’t speak to the attractiveness of men [...]

Justin Bieber’s Bangs Hide Map to Dry Land

April 20, 2010

It was discovered today that upon his forehead, well hidden by his signature bangs, is the long sought after map to Dry Land. The discovery of the fabled map, which holds clues to the last known location of dry land on earth, was foretold by many and seeking to rid them self of the sea farer’s ways. With [...]

Arts & Crafts Means Jewelery

April 3, 2010

My lady and I were walking around Embarcadero today in the Arts & Crafts. I used to be excited about arts and crafts when I was a little kid. I liked the idea of people making little, interesting things in their spare time. No more. Now, Arts & Crafts means jewelery. It seems like 90% [...]

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