Back in December, Chinese hackers were able to gain access to critical Google computers and software code, all in an attempt to better access Google Maps in the hopes of settling a local dispute over the best route from LAX to Hollywood.
A spokesperson for the Chinese Hackers posted today that, “Phil Chen is a dick. He keeps saying you go northbound on the 405 freeway and take the 10 east until you get to Sunset. But I keep telling him, “Phill, that’s dog-shit, because what? `Are you traveling on Christmas or something? Is it a Sunday at 4am? Because there’s just no way you’re making it up towards Willshire without getting stuck in like 45 mintues of traffic.” So we decided to hack Google to see what was really going to work. I mean, camon’ everybody knows you’ve got to cut down the 405 to the 110 and back north again. And no, Phil, jesus, I get that it’s not going to work on a Friday, but that’s like arguing a plan isn’t any good because the sun might explode. Uh, friggin’ yeah and double-duh.”
Google is still investigating the hack but one spokesperson said, “While admittedly posing a threat to our servers, we’re clear;y not going to fall victim to two assholes who’ve never heard of the Imperial Highway 105.”
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