In a recent interview with the Mirror, Prince declared that the “…internet’s completely over.” He compared it to the weaning popularity of MTV and added that it was a good thing since the internet just “fills your head with numbers.”
Later, behind the scenes, one of his hundreds of (as he likes to call them) ‘song boys,’ discovered a secret list containing other institutions of popular culture that his royal rockness intends to denounce. Here is that list with a transcript of Prince’s commentary about each item:
Twilight Is Completely Over – “Not the books, you fool. The time of day! Twilight, like Prince, is for lovers, yes, but twilight is also for gnats and mosquitoes and Prince does not abide gnats and mosquitoes. In fact, I trust nothing which awakens at twilight. Wait, when do vampires awaken? Bah, then the popular series must end as well!”
Lithium Is Completely Over – “Lithium is a drug and drugs hurt the soul. Cars powered by batteries made of lithium are therefore drugs and hurt the soul. Besides, everyone knows nickel-cadmium is the superior conductor.”
The World Cup Is Completely Over – “Damn your semi-finals! The Spanish have already won. I have spoken with Queen Isabella personally and she assures me the streets of Madrid ‘el ir al partido como él es 1999.’”
John Connor Is Completely Over – “In the resistance against the machines, John Connor will be killed in the year 2030. His end will come not from the terminator which is designated for his assassination but in a freak boating accident on what was once the Gulf of Mexico.”
Babies Are Completely Over – “Babies were actually fad in the 80′s that I started with the song ‘Dirty Mind.’ They will not be in style again until 2013, when I re-inspire the fad with my ‘What You Put In Me’ tour,’ and then only in North America.”
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Thomas – Have you ended this blog? It’s been several weeks since your last posting. Perhaps you’re abroad, hopefully in Jaipur or Goa, somewhere like that.
Did you ever see that film, “Storm of the Century?”
And what became of your screenplay called “What’s Up, Doc. II?”
Apologies for my absence. Answers to follow.