(Basically, the gentleman’s blog lifedev.net is about three issues someone might bring up as to why they can’t succeed in their goals.)
I wanted to comment on this from a different side, that of being the advice giver or, as I prefer it, the guy you asked for advice.
Over the years, I’ve had a lot of friends talk about this goal or that. My favorite example involves successive dinners with an unemployed friend over a two week period where he went from wanting to be a professor to wanting to be a sea captain (no kidding, captain of the sea, his words).
He was my friend and given my love for him I gave him the best advice I had at the time. “Okay, great, how can I help?”
I’m not sure he had any ideas, at least none in particular, on how to become either of those things. He would say things like “back to school” and “working on a boat” but the first step, the next step, was missing, in any specific sense.
It dawns on me that some goals, some of these dreams, are just for fun, and aren’t meant to be followed through with, and especially not motivated. Sometimes, people are just down, and they survive on fantasy of the future. This is us in our car, driving to the same job, but thinking how to spend the 13million in the lotto. This is my leaving everything behind to finally move back to Paris.
I am a fairly optimistic person, and fairly sure that I”ll make happen whatever goals I really want to happen, but there’s a lot of goals, a lot of fantasies, that I think are just sort of exercise in possibility, to test, in our own minds, what fits for our life.
We should worry too much about these, and we should feel failures for not going after them. What we want, we’ll go after, or else we don’t want it enough. If it’s a lack of resources, we’ll learn about resources. I’m pretty sure that’s how it goes.
Now, If you’ll pardon me, I’ve got to spend an hour looking up medical school deadlines, plane tickets to Iceland, and tips on how to become the next best-read blogger.
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See now the problem here seems to me not that most people flit about creating intangible or ridiculous goals for themselves, but that many of us are ridiculously spoiled for choice. I am fairly certain that having made slightly different choices earlier in life that I could now be a famous actress or a damn succesful lawyer. Instead I toil away at my underpaid job in advertising hoping that things will come right too scared to do anything radical to change things. Not that I want to be a lawyer anymore, but it does plague me that I could have been, and that if I had been that I would be able to buy that lovely eames chair I saw on craigslist. Also, that I am somehow failing by not living up to a certain amount of potential. That one is really the kicker. It’s been haunting me since my 3rd grade report card.