Following a lead in the quest to answer “Why people care about Justin Bieber,” it was discovered today that upon his forehead, well hidden by his signature bangs, is hidden the map to Dry Land. The fabled map, which holds clues to the last known location of dry land on earth, has long been sought after by many and all seeking to rid them self of the sea farer’s ways. With the impending flood of global warming, such news comes as a boon, though not without some controversy.
“The hard part, of course, will be deciding how to harvest the map from his forehead,” said one of the co-discoverer’s of the map’s location. ”While it seems perfectly plausibile that we should be able to read the map directly from Mr. Bieber’s forehead, we’re getting a lot of pressure to tear the flesh from his, and I’m quoting here, “little cherub face.” What’s astounding is that such suggestions are coming from fans as well as detractors. Apparently the fans see it as an opportunity to have a piece of the young lad.”
To date, there have only been three studies which sought to answer what effect tearing apart Justin Bieber’s face would have on his singing career. Only one has so far completed its work and the inititial findings are, “moderate.”
Special thanks to Dylan for providing the evidence.
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If you find that interesting, you should see what’s on his lower back.
I actually had to do a quick Wiki search to figure out who the hell this kid is. Another child prodigy type fueled to stardom by the internet, yeah? I’m only 22 and I’m so out of the loop…I feel so estranged from pop culture. Haven’t really watched very much TV in years, don’t follow the radio. I’m actually looking forward to being 85 and not having to try to keep with any type of cultural trend whatsoever. 85 year olds don’t have to pretend to know who Hannah Montana is or that they actually care about the iPad.
With that said, this kid is as cute as his gender is ambiguous. I kind of want to pick him up and spin him around. Maybe that’s another thing- like why people like him.
I only found out about this kid because I noticed half the people I was following on Twitter were mentioning him and I kept wondering, what is a Bieber?
LOL You are nuts. And I too didn’t really know who he was. There was a really funny mention about him on blip.fm so I got to listen to one of his songs.
I don’t know – I listen to the radio all day practically and never hear about him. Maybe I’m too old. Who knows.
Like I said, I just kept seeing the word “Bieber” on twitter. Even after that, there’s not too much reason to know what a bieber is. It will not help your life, except to make this post a little funnier. Hmm, I guess, having said that. Most people ought to find out what a Bieber is.