Member of the 8,459,763 direct descendants of King Tutankhamun mourned today as questions behind the death of their great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather have finally been laid to rest. Modern science, using a combination of DNA and Cat scans, has determined that the mighty boy-king died of Malaria, a broken femur, and general retardation due to massive inbreeding. Though his sister/wife outlived him by many years, reports are that she too led a difficult life.
Joseph Tut of Skarky, Illinois, who spoke on behalf of the over eight million descendants had said, “It’s tough, you know, digging up the past like this…” Pausing to chuckle at his own pun, Mr Tut straightened up for what was obviously a burdensome realization. ”It’s just so hard. Here we were thinking that he had been wronged, that there was some great plot or accident that killed him. It’s hard to know your a descendant of an inbred. It’s going to take months to figure out if we call his wife Grandma or Great-Aunt, and that’s a lot to deal with in the face of so much rehashing of the past.”
Some critics claim that the news is too soon, that science went to far in breaking down the mysteries of a tale which, though troublesome, had been accepted by all of his loved ones.
Commenting on the timing of the revelation, Mr Tut said, “there is no good time to find out your ancient pharaoh relative was a disabled sickling. That’s always going to hurt.”
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