So I’m leaving the enclosed parking lot area of Safeway last night and there’s a leaf-blower, just blowing things around. There were, at most…I mean at MOST, seven leaves in the entire, ENCLOSED, parking lot. And I’m thinking to myself, ‘This poor, poor bastard, has no purpose in life.’ Leaf-blowing in general is just the dumbest, laziest thing ever. You’re making wind. It’s not even very focused wind. You’re just taking dirt, and blowing it around. In fact, wind is generally known for making a mess of things. I mean, since when has wind ever cleaned anything up?
So anyway, this guy, this poor, expressionlist, zombie faced guy, he’s just looking at me while I’m in line to give my ticket and get out of the lot. And I can’t figure out what he’s looking at. I’m feeling really guilty because he’s a human, after all, and we’ve got eye contact and all the while all I can think is, ‘you poor, goddam, so, just so very poor, bastard. Oh my god what a sad, sad job,’ until I pull forward to give my ticket. And he revves up his little blower. Ooh! He found one. One last leaf that he’d adeptly spotted, under my car.
And there just isn’t anything sadder than a task this worthless. I know, feeding a family. I know, work ethic, part of society. All that. I’m not saying HE is worthless, but what he’s doing, oh my god. I just want to pick him up and throw him in the middle of the woods, and then document it, and see if he can blow his way to freedom. Maybe a bear chases him and maybe, in the final scene, there’s a class 5 hurricane running through the forrest, just tearing up the hell out of everything, and our hero, with all his might, blows a mighty leaf-blow, blowing so hard his will might burst, until finally, he can blow no more. I haven’t decided if he triumps or not yet, maybe just a tragic but noble ending where all we see are a pair of leaf-blowing socks and the crooked, bent nozzle at the end of the blower, a testament to his final blow.
The End.
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Solid point..A leaf blower doesn’t even clean anything. It’s the maching equal to the evil sister who instead of cleaning her side of the room just shoves all the mess onto her sibling’s side. Bloddy spitefull thing really.