I had a realization some time ago that there is a sad little sub-sect of the Nerd social class that nobody much talks about: Stupid Nerds. In the broad, two-party system of social classes, where you’re either a jock or a nerd, most accept that, where nerds lack in athletic prowess or social aptitude, they more than make up the difference in intelligence and productivity. But that’s not always true.
This idea came to me one night when I was out in my home town having drinks with some old friends. We ran into a kid I’ll call Billy and talked to him for a while. Billy was a nerd in high school in all the identifiable ways: poor taste in clothes, loved computers, wore glasses, was into drama club and found a lot of ways to bring up Star Wars. I always thought Billy would do great things just based on his being a nerd who ran with the nerd crowd. But as I talked to him for a while, “catching up,” I realized that Billy hadn’t made it.
I think most nerds make it by embracing their nerdiness. Billy seemed to go the opposite direction. Instead of going to a university like his nerd friends, Billy went to the local community college where a lot of the hot chicks and jocks went to lay low for a couple of years while they were riding out their high school popularity. Billy didn’t have any popularity, so his time there was akin to a severely disabled boy getting into Juilliard. And Billy’s style had gotten worse. He used to dress in little suits and sweaters. Now Billy wore big boots and cheap leather jackets akin to the Tyler Durden movement from ten years ago, had things on his face pierced, and kept his hair unsettled between something buzzed and something long in an effect which reminded one more of garnish than any particular look.
What had happened to Billy? As we talked for a while longer, it dawned on me. Billy was stupid. It’s not just that he had made some wrong turns (he had) but that he probably couldn’t have made the right ones. He wasn’t very bright, you see, and it had just never showed because he had exhibited all the symptoms of an awkward, ungainly, but eventually very lucrative life as a nerd. We had all just assumed he was smart.
I started wondering how many people were out there, just like him: unpopular, uncharismatic but also unambitious and not terribly clever.
Most of us accept that there are some people out there who aren’t intelligent and who just wont make much of themselves. But it’s hard to imagine that this if the fate of those who ran in the nerd crowds, those that were supposed to grow up, find their niche, develop Twitter or something, and eventually buy an island filled with all the women who would have laughed at them in high school. But some nerds never make it past a level seven mage in World of Warcraft. Some nerds will always love Star Wars, but never fully appreciate the scientific paradox of generating a fixed-mass, portable laser which has the capability to reflect other lasers.
There is nothing sadder than the nerd who will never learn that a nerd doesn’t get success by becoming a jock, but by owning the intellectual rights to the jock’s mobile phone and charging them a shitload for it.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
This was an interesting read. This is one of those ‘nerd gone dork’ scenarios, though. They try to go alternative after high school but don’t quite make it all the way there. Kinda sad. But while I get it, and know plenty of people like that…Can I please just point out real quick that there are countless morons out there with degrees and substantial jobs, as well?
Let’s take my sister for example. Smart girl, got amazing grades in high school, was a student body president, very popular, athletic, went to a prestigious university and graduated with a 4.0. Now she is working for BP, defending their mistakes in a PR spot. Errgh…
I guess the reason I bring that up is because on the other hand, there’s also the Stupid, Educated Nerd and there have been plenty of people who have been monetarily successful that I could not care less about or respect, who do completely HORRIBLE things and become ‘successful’.
And I guess maybe I responded to this because I still haven’t gone to a university, but sometimes feel like I’ve learned more than a lot of the friends I have who are graduating from their respective schools this year. I do plan to go, but I had a very unique, and incredibly interesting experience that I could not have had otherwise.
Stupidity amazes me sometimes by its bounty. You could even say it is the most generous human characteristic- it is certainly not picky about which social class and person it applies to.
This reminds me of this great quote from the fictional character called Lazerous Long who said, “Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation. Stupidity is not a sin, the victim can’t help being stupid. But stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death, there is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity.”
Or, as in your example, they make a ton of money and rule us all.