death

World Mourns Entire Day of Having to Listen to Song, “Imagine.”

December 8, 2010
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Imagine all the people, mourning the death of John Lennon, without having to  play goddam “Imagine” over and over again, ad nauseum.  John Lennon died 30 years ago today, but that doesn’t mean we have to kill his music. Don’t get me wrong.  Imagine is a terrific song.  But enough already.  I loved that song [...]

Which Deserves To Die?

August 12, 2010
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Which person deserves to die? I have my ideas. If you were riding on a bus and saw this ad, whom would you choose?

The Death of an Old Friend/Pumpkin

April 8, 2010
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My pumpkin is dying.  We adopted this pumpkin last October, he and six of his brothers and sisters.  The others didn’t make it, due largely to the fact that they were sliced open and left out in the rain.  But this one just sat, uncut, for the last seven months.  I get that honoring a [...]

“Arms Race” – A New Reality Show Pitch

April 1, 2010
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When you’re shopping through the aisles do you ever stop and figure out what, if you had to, you could kill a guy with?  I don’t mean any specific guy, as in, you’ve cracked and you’re really out to get someone.  And I also don’t mean just any random guy, because you’re not a psychopath; [...]

Final Votes of Passed Health Care Cast By Four Horsemen of Apocalypse

March 22, 2010
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The much debated Health Care Bill, the main domestic issue of the Obama Administration, was passed today in the House by a vote of 219 to 212, with the final, “swing,” votes being cast by the four horsemen of the apocalypse.  Said one aid to House Speaker Pelosi, “We were confident we had it right [...]

Domestic Disturbance or “Reality on Pine Street”

February 24, 2010
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My neighbors are fighting.  It’s 2:38pm when I check the time, but I can’t be certain how long they’ve been yelling.  This is what goes through my mind, noting the time, picturing myself in front of police officers, on the stand, in news reports: “Area Man Notes Domestic Dispute in Blog: Predicts Murder.”  Put a [...]

Thought of the Day: “Some people do put baby in a corner.”

September 15, 2009
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It’s the day after the news of Patrick Swayze’s death and I feel like nobody is talking about some of the amazing work he did in movies besides “Dirty Dancing.” Yes, Johnny was sex in the water when it came to those scenes of him crawling along the floor, or lifting his baby up into the air, or flirting, in every moment, with his hips where eyes would do, but have we forgotten some of the true magic that made Swayze, Swayze?

“New Kitten Breed Deemed ‘Too Cute’”

September 11, 2009
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Recent reports demonstrate lethal abilities of genetically modified kittens.