hair

Cat Nap

October 22, 2010

Yoga is for dickheads. And I don’t even try to stretch before or after a workout anymore. Still, I’ve managed to stay limber and sprightly nearly all my life. The key is taking a solid cat nap each and every day. There’s something about contorting my torso in half while pointing my limbs in uncompromising directions that I [...]

Thought of the Day: “I Have a Hard Time Imagining Cavemen Doing It In The Missionary Position”

May 25, 2010

I get that the guy went out and clubbed the girl and dragged her around back to his cave; that much makes sense. But then how were they having sex? Certainly not missionary position, right? It’s too intimate. And cavemen have all that hair and those huge, protruding foreheads. To say the least. I mean, fucking [...]

Justin Bieber’s Bangs Hide Map to Dry Land

April 20, 2010

It was discovered today that upon his forehead, well hidden by his signature bangs, is the long sought after map to Dry Land. The discovery of the fabled map, which holds clues to the last known location of dry land on earth, was foretold by many and seeking to rid them self of the sea farer’s ways. With [...]

Ways to Save Time: Bathroom Efficiency

March 31, 2010

I love to save a little time. Usually that means finding a way to do two or three things at once, or to do them in an order that means I’m not being held up. So I laughed, just a moment ago, when I found myself peeing, then simultaneously trying to grab some scissors to [...]

Woman Who Showers Still Has Wet Hair

February 1, 2010

Janice Tilden of Cleavland, Ohio has reported today that her hair, after having gotten wet in the shower, seven months ago, is still wet. Authorities say the woman, who was late for work, reluctantly agreed to her boyfriend’s request to “hop in” to the shower just twenty minutes prior to leaving the house. Though she [...]

Nick Cage’s Hair: I Still Believe In Him

September 2, 2009

Nick Cage’s hair has gotten just super weird in the last couple of things I’ve seen him in. Now, I woudn’t normally take the time to say much in the way of celebrities, but I have to wonder, as I always do with fashion/vanity, how he’s come upon this look. Okay so, really, I’m just [...]