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Jesus Died For Your…

April 23, 2011

Jesus died for your sins, sure, but is that it? And how about specifics? Because I totally get him dieing for half of what I did during my single years of 2003-2004 but, 2010? Maybe I was a bit loose with my taxes that year, maybe, but nothing die worthy. And in this modern day [...]

Double Rainbow, Double Bird: All The Way

November 16, 2010

Forget that I just got married. What you should be focused on was the goddam miracle of mother nature which occured on the honeymoon in Cancun. I captured it, and it’s about to go viral (seriously though, I know people of the Tube, and this in a confirmed viral load). Unlike the original “double-rainbow,” mine [...]

“Too Many Porn-Stars” TNB

April 28, 2010

I’ve always felt it was too easy for a person to be labeled a “porn-star.” The criteria seems to be that you have had sex, on camera, for the purpose of distribution, and that many people have seen it. But such criteria says nothing about one’s history, accomplishment or following. The real problem is that there doesn’t [...]

“It’s Like An Essay, But An Essay “On Crack!”" – TNB

April 10, 2010

What does it mean when you use the analogy that “It’s like (something), but like (something) on crack!”?

“The Pursuit of “What is Happiness?”" – TNB

February 25, 2010

Before we discuss if we have a “right to be happy” or “how can we be happy,” we must first decide what we mean by ‘happiness.’ The word “happiness,” today, is used too ubiquitously to really mean much. There is a happy life, a happy moment, a happy accident. In etymological terms, the word’s origin is actually [...]

The Muppet Show: Behind the Scenes (audio) -EXPLICIT

February 24, 2010

WARNING: This audio clip is disturbing, even to its author. It is distasteful, probably a big liability and should not be listenened to by anyone. I’ve always loved the muppets, so I apologize for the following- Sound Quality: Please pardon my lack of popguard. Back in the days of our old radio show, The Black [...]

Podcast: Play in new window

“Sentimental Tool”- TNB

February 18, 2010

There are two kinds of people: Keepers and Throwers. I’m a Keeper. I can’t throw anything away. This epiphany came while editing a recent story that my editor had called, “unwieldy,” a polite way of saying, “Get to the bloody point.” His version of the piece was five-hundred words. My original was nearly two-thousand. His [...]

When You’re “Off The Hook!”

February 10, 2010

I can’t reconcile this phrase, “Off the hook!” It means two totally separate things. A few minutes ago, I was texting with a colleague who was wondering if she was going to have to work tonight or not. She wasn’t, so I texted her back, “Just found out…you’re off the hook.” My phone froze up [...]

Obama: “…just voting no…that’s not leadership.”

January 28, 2010

Of all the lines I heard tonight in Obama’s State of The Union Address, I was most impressed by this one: “And if the Republican leadership is going to insist that sixty votes in the Senate are required to do any business at all in this town, then the responsibility to govern is now yours as [...]

“The Bottom of Humanity” – TNB

January 13, 2010

One of the first things you might notice about people at the DMV—besides the most obvious, superficial aspects of race, class, and station—are the bottoms. It’s not that you’re into people’s rear ends – though maybe you are – but that there’s a kind of taboo to looking. At first, you tell yourself, it’s just a [...]

“Why I’m Allergic to Mint” – TNB

November 5, 2009

I tell people that I’m allergic to mint. I used to tell people the simple truth, that I just don’t like mint, except that it turned out not to be so simple. “What? Wait, you mean like mint, like the wonderful, fresh leaf?”

“The Domino Fort” – TNB

October 14, 2009

Marty couldn’t hear my father. Historically, all the men in my family seem to have a difficult time relating to some children. Nobody has ever quite figured it out, either. Some say it’s the baritone voice, others say it’s because we tend to talk to children like adults, rarely raising the pitch of our voice, [...]

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