tits

Porn for Philanthropy

February 16, 2011
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I have this idea that pornography should be more philanthropic.  Here’s the premise:  There’s a lot of us looking at a lot of pornography.  We are, for whatever reasons, ignoring all issues of morality, seeking it out.  Why not, then, tether that pornography with something philanthropic? The idea came to me from some simple data.  I get [...]

“Stop Looking At My Tits (photos)”

January 11, 2011
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“Um, hello, asshole, I’m up here!”  That’s right, I’m more than just a great set of tits: I have thoughts and feelings and wisdom too. Because, so far, I’m getting more attention for the one set of tit photos I happened to post than pretty much all of my other writing/content combined.  And they’re crap [...]

“I am” (Insert Stupid Nickname)

January 4, 2011
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I met this guy, a limo driver, out in Redding, California.  He introduced himself as Diamond Dave.  As in, “Nice to meet you, I’m Diamond Dave.” He meant it too.  I called him Dave once, said, “thanks, Dave,” actually, and he corrected me.  He wanted to make sure I inserted the Diamond part in there. [...]

That’s So “Sajak!”

January 3, 2011
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I’m going to start calling things “sajak.”  Yes, as in Pat Sajak.  It’s the perfect term to describe things that are safe and friendly and that white people really like. But “sajak” has a deeper meaning: calling something “sajak” means that some hip, popular trend has become fully gentrified.  It will signify something’s complete saturation [...]

Defining “Douchebags”: Part III – Finding a Cure

March 4, 2010
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In Parts I and II, we discussed how Douchebags are idiots with flare, the pretentious ignorant.  They are the guy in sunglasses, the goatee, the striped shirt, the baseball cap just a touch off center.  They are the big-dick swingers, touting their rock-titted Douchebaguettes.  We all get it.  We all know these guys.  Heck, you [...]

“A Respectful Breast-Man”

July 29, 2009
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I’m going to be honest with you here so let me start with a simple premise: I realize that I am a pervert.  This is who I am.  I am comfortable with it.  People love me for who I am.  Meanwhile, I only take anything I say as half serious.  So should you.  The point [...]