My pumpkin is dying. We adopted this pumpkin last October, he and six of his brothers and sisters. The others didn’t make it, due largely to the fact that they were sliced open and left out in the rain. But this one just sat, uncut, for the last seven months. I get that honoring a loved pumpkin is a bit below even the shallowest of topics posted here on ModernSophist.com but, to be honest, it makes me a little sad and, besides, after an hour on YouTube I am having absolutely no luck finding examples of cartoon characters using the phrase “insolent fool” for the topic I really wanted to discuss.
Seven months has been enough time for us to grown attached to our pumpkin. We hadn’t named him yet, instead just referring to the basic noun of, “the pumpkin,” though this in no way reflects our lack of attachment as we also call our favorite cat by a simple title, “The fat one.” The pumpkin will live out the rest of his days in our garden, slowly decomposing until his composition contributes to the circle of life that is our back yard (probably eaten and subsequently thrown up by The Fat One.”
In honor of his memory please send any donations you have to the Haiti Pumpkin Relief Fund with the American Red Cross.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
This post reminds me of Charlie Brown’s Great Pumpkin. Have you sized up any melons lately?
No more than usual.
This comment reminded me. Keep up the good work over at Tittay Citay. (Just realized how awesome that must sound not knowing the context.)
I don’t know, SC, there’s loads of dudes who are pretty bummed on me. Granted, they’re not wrong, I’m a complete ass and generally unfunny. But yeah, it’s a goddam comment board, and I can’t understand the anger.